I recently attended a training on ‘socio political grief’ and was reminded how highly relevant this is to those who have experienced adoption, donor conception or surrogacy.
Socio Political grief is grief that originates from our social and political structures.
In the past (and indeed to this day, in many places in the world) social, political and religious norms upheld adoption as a ‘solution’ to the ‘problem’ of an unwed pregnant woman, an infant, and a married couple who often could not conceive their ‘own’ child. Two parent families were valued and the notion of a single mother raising her baby was condemned.
In the case of donor conception and surrogacy, there is a social and political norm around those who can afford it being considered to have the ‘right’ to procure or produce a child through these practices.
We must not forget that in addition to these elements, our indigenous people have experienced decades upon decades of colonisation, genocide and their impacts.
Society and our religious and political structures have silenced and ignored things that those of us trained in Psychology and attachment theory understand, such as the importance of the sacred bond between mother and baby, the importance of identity and connection between those who are biologically related and the damage caused when these bonds are severed and one’s own personal history concealed.
During the Covid 19 pandemic, the mainstream population experienced government mandates, isolation and the inability to connect with family face to face, particularly when spread across borders. This too has been named as a form of socio political grief. In this way, perhaps this experience can be considered in building some understanding of what is faced by those affected by adoption and donor conception in a far more extreme way throughout the course of their lives.
The root word for ‘bereaved’ in latin is to ‘snatch’, ‘grab’ or ‘carry off’. In this way, I think that all of us affected by adoption and donor conception can identify in some way with being ‘bereaved’ and in need of some form of grief and loss support at some point throughout life or at the very least, an acknowledgement of this experience.
We also rely on leadership from our governments and other institutions to continue to address the harms done and to work towards solutions through true consultation and collaboration.
Socio Political Grief in the Context of Adoption, Surrogacy and Donor Conception
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